One Year Shot To Hell

So. Yeah.

It’s been a year since I started doing this site. It was originally a quote/unquote book, but that was getting hard to do. I felt like I was writing in a vacuum and nothing was getting accomplished and I was repeating myself like crazy. Whenever I wasn’t at a show, I was writing. If anything, it covered the NYC music scene from 2003-2005. And those were some pretty good years, music-wise in NYC. I’ve heard it referred to as “a book about The Spunk Lads.”

Well, “a book about The Spunk Lads” didn’t exactly help them when they needed it. And I didn’t think it was right/fair/whatever to continue in the same genre without my main inspirators and instigators. Starting the site would be a challenge and hopefully help me focus when I tell a story. The weekend I started this, and it feels like ages ago, I saw some pretty cool bands and thought, What’s the point in sitting here and not letting anybody know about them until way after the fact? And besides, if I’m going to write about music and not get paid for it, I’d rather do it for myself and not Joe Cool in Williamsburg soliciting articles for his upcoming webzine on Craigslist. 500-800 words a week, unpaid for now, but after the site takes off you’ll be compensated for helping us get off the ground—that is if we still use your submissions when we can hire established writers. Been down that route already, 10 years ago, when I interned at a startup music magazine. I’m not going there again.

Thus, Hollow Sidewalks was born.

And now I know why there are so many people looking for contributors to their blogs on Craigslist. I’m only one person doing the work, waiting outside venues, in the rain, in the heat, getting cursed at by drunken patrons, paying for the tix, paying for the film, paying for the developing, killing my back, hearing all these bands, going to work, getting hit in the eye with burgers, not cleaning my apartment, writing, doing the work, waiting outside venues. . . . And it’s not like I know how this is going to end. It’s not like I’m writing The Great American Novel and can stay in one Saturday and write up to X point where the characters did Y and know that I got a lot accomplished. And not every show becomes a story, yet I write about them and never finish the piece—I have 2 started from June that are really long and unfinished.

And I didn’t mind it. It’s my calling. I mean, right? What I was born to do.

So what happened?

Dang if I know.

I guess there was just a weird vibe in the air. We’re losing the Continental and CBGB. There are all these weird, big shows and reunions coming up. I tell myself that music in NYC didn’t grind to a halt when Tramps and Brownies closed. It just feels like everything is changing, and being who I am and what I cover and in the way I do—I guess I just picked up on that vibe. I saw the Move-To-Philly ads: Because CBGB is leaving and TRL isn’t. Maybe. Yet I’m very stubborn and there is a desire to see this through and see what happens and write about it. I’ve always been the first to get there and the last to leave. And then I thought, Maybe there’s a reason all these startup music sites don’t want me to write for them for free. It doesn’t matter if I put the Clash and Art Brut down as my Top 10 instead, they can tell how old I am by my resume. All I have are closed-down venues and broken-up bands. Or I’m just not a good writer. But this is what I planned to do. (But it was mostly the 1st one I was worried about.) And all these “I like the band but I don’t love them” posts is going to get old after a while. And then I thought: Wait a minute. I don’t enjoy doing the things I used to, like going to shows and writing and taking pix. My hobbies. That sounds familiar. Maybe the music is getting to me.

So it was the 4th of July weekend and I spent it going to shows, getting to bed late, sleeping late, and writing and it was great and when work came around again . . . I don’t know. I couldn’t take it. Throwing up and all. Coincidentally—or not—that Friday, at the start of the weekend, I got back my last batch of Spunk Lads pix ever. There was just such a finality to it, almost a year later. And now I know why I never dealt with that last year. It hurts like hell. And that’s just characteristic of how I deal with stuff: I don’t, because it hurts too much and who needs that. No matter what my problems were, there was a Spunk Lads gig to look forward to and to take my mind off things and make it all better. It was escapism on many levels. But my problems are still there even after the show is over. And I still can’t find a freaking job. And I think I’ve come to a realization: I need a digital camera.

I did try to fix that expandable post summary thing. Was up ‘til 3AM working on it. With the new computer, it doesn’t look too bad. On my Mac, whenever I looked at my site, the sidebar was at a different level than the posts and I thought that they’re 2 different fields and long posts makes them not line up. So I was hesitant to announce the site to others until it was fixed because it looked funny. No, that’s not really it.

The thing about the pix: That’s really frustrating. None of these photo hosting sites lets you edit in that program, (that I know of, maybe since I haven’t pursued that in a while, something’s changed) so I have to edit, save to the desktop, and then upload. And no, I still can’t afford DSL. Okay, I get it: I’m not a photographer, but I’ve come to take my hobby more seriously and find things about my pix that I like, and with Buzznet, where I started the Obligatory Photo Section, you can’t copywrite the pix. You can on Flickr, but that service is $40/month. So in the meantime, I’ve got pix of pretty much every band from !!! to the Zambonis. And I was thinking that if people just want to look at the pix, once they’re up then I can get the site out there and make it known.

And one more thing. To RebelMart and Blackout Matt who, for some reason, like reading the words (pink though this is) and not just looking at the pictures. . . . Scott, there wouldn’t be a book if it weren’t for you. Probably not even this site. Thanx for all of your inspiration and instigation. Matt, my first and only commenter, I thank you for that. If WWIX found out about this site I assume that’s your doing. I’ll try to be better about that stuff.

So, yeah.

Like I said, I have no idea how this is going to end.