The Saudi Agenda? What Saudi Agenda? There Is No Saudi Agenda.
The Larch/The Saudi Agenda//Freddy's Backroom//4/29/06
I have to admit The Saudi Agenda wasn't exactly my 1st choice of bandname for these guys, but then again my vote don't count because I'm not in the band. Still, it's a lot better than Somos Demonios and a few others that Roger came up with which Scott (and I) pooh-poohed (you ask my opinion, you get my opinion) in their post-Demonios/Infalliable 5 malaise. (Though I thought referring to the Infalliable 5 as the Inevitable 5 was a telling slip-up.)
Though I remembered the Art Brut poster for Roger, I didn't remember my camera until after the elevator went up to 4 and then back down to the lobby. Sometimes I think I'm losing it. Of course I get to the subway just in time to see an R pull out. But the E and the F were going local to Jackson Heights, so I kinda lucked out. At 14th St there were the requisite signs all over but I guess by now, if you put them all in one spot in the transfer tunnel, I'm just immune to them. I ignored 'em. And got there to a train on the local track, but something was coming down the express, so ha ha, suckers! The local leaves, the express finally comes in--and it's going on the uptown local route instead. Right. I knew that. Shit, I just let the downtown go. So I sit down to wait and from behind me, I hear: That's fuckin grimey.
The man clarifies: That's some grimey-ass shit, saying that's going to go uptown over here. That's grimey. That's fuckin grimey. There's no signs. The MTA always wants your money. Grimey. Grimey-ass shit.
A woman in an MTA uniform sits down next to me and the critic's attack now has a target audience. That's right, I'm getting my shit out on you because you see what your shirt says? Motherfuckin MTA just wants your money. Grimey. That's fuckin grimey-ass shit.
The woman defends herself: I don't drive the trains. He keeps up his tirade, but she cuts him off: I'm in the station.
I'm telling you because you walk with them, he explains as the woman mutters curses under her breath. MTfuckinA just takes your money. Grimey!
It's getting late. Then again, I'm going to Freddy's so why shouldn't there be train troubles? She explains to the audience that has gathered since the last uptown that the next train on this track is actually going uptown, not downtown, and to get to South Ferry you have to go to Chambers and take a shuttle.
"I have to get to Brooklyn," one guy says.
"For Brooklyn, you need to go upstairs and take the L," says the MTA worker.
Uhhhmmm....
"I need to go to Park Slope," the man clarifies.
"Go upstairs, take the L...." she repeats, as if she's talking to a 5-yr-old, then stalks off down the platform because Grimey has plunked his bag down on our side of the bench.
"Grimey! Yeah, I'm talking to you!"
Who knew the L goes to Park Slope? I guess with all the rerouting, anyhing's possible. I pull back my jacket sleeve to check my watch, my hand shooting forward involuntarily with that gesture, and I hit Grimey. I flinch, he doesn't seem to notice. Then again, if anything, no one could relate to the grimeyness of the situation better than me. Then I realize: Sucking, out; grimey, in.
"What time do the trains stop running?"
The Tourist, who just missed Grimey's monologue, has us all cracking up. "Can we smoke on the platform?"
"You might as well, since the MTA runs the trains the way they do. Fuckin grimey. Go for it," Grimey says.
The Tourist, in his sport sandals and sport socks, wears a baseball hat with an eagle and the Statue of Liberty in front of an American Flag. Under it, it says USA. He considers, because there are no signs saying that you can't smoke. There aren't any signs anywhere and the trains aren't even marked. Grimey tells him to go ahead and smoke because the MTA just wants our money.
The uptown finally comes and Grimey gets on. Figuring I must be next, I get up and look down the local track. The uptown is in the station for a while and I figure that Grimey is still deep in his monologue. I turn back and he's muttering to someone, the guy nodding his head in agreement.
On the downtown, which is going local to Chambers, I realize that if Roger starts before I get there, then that's pretty fuckin grimey. When I asked, his email said 11 or 11:30, but I figured that wasn't going to happen. I got there @ 11 and The Larch was just starting. I gave Roger the poster and he asked if I heard about the Knitting Factory getting robbed. I told him that he already told me this, and even though The Larch was playing, he told me the whole story over again, directly into my ear. When he finished, I said, "Yeah, that's exactly what you told me the last time." He gives me a puzzled look. "When Scott played." Still no recollection. "Two weeks ago." He nods. "Oh, you just want me whispering in your ear." Great, I actually have a guy in a band whispering in my ear and it's the same story he told me already. Eh, seems about right. I look up and the table to my left is passing around a notepad and writing and I crack up, because when I did that at the Bottom Line, it was all scathing comments about Morely and how much she sucked. See, this is why we should all learn sign language. We're gonna go deaf anyway from all these shows. The Larch did a song about a train in Amsterdam and I wonder if it's grimey. The train, I mean, not the song, and a train in outerspace. Then Roger asked me if I had allergies and if so, do I have anything on me. No, but since I feel bad I offer him my inhaler, if he doesn't mind that it's been in my mouth. "We're close, but I don't think we should share nostrils." Uh, Rog, it doesn't go up yer nose.
Gavin moved the tables, and right before The Saudi Agenda started, he said, "Do you guys know any songs in Arabic? 'Cause that would be funny." I think this is only TSA's 2nd gig, if I'm not mistaken, so I wasn't expecting them to have a full set list, which they did. Then again look who we're dealing with, here. Tell Roger he needs some songs before getting a gig, he'll write a double album. Punk rock opening numbers No Saudi Agenda and Somos Demonios had me picturing Seth, Matt, and Alex tearing the place apart (5/17 @ Southie, yo) and I could see stage diving to some, on some of them I could see Marc jumping up and down. And since this is Roger and this double album would need to be heard, by One Speed I was up as well. They covered The Spunk Lads's Girl At The March, but I'm hoping they only did so in honor of the march earlier that day. They had this song These Are The Jews Who Killed Jesus and I was cracking up, but it was hard to pay attention and rock out at the same time lest jokes fly over your head. Interestingly enough, Gimme Some Lip has found new life as a ska/pop number, so if you still dislike it intensely in this guise at least you can do the twist to it. And Soul Ideal (formerly AKA What is the sound of a punk band masturbating) is now a pop song. Which just proves the old adage true: It's better to put out one great album and break up than risk putting out a second one and piss me off. Roger asked me what I thought about The Jews Who Killed Jesus and I was like, couldn't concentrate, rocking.
So while The Saudi Agenda is definitely not grimey, what about bands that are? What's the handsign for that, a la vortex of suck? Then again, why mess with a classic.
I have to admit The Saudi Agenda wasn't exactly my 1st choice of bandname for these guys, but then again my vote don't count because I'm not in the band. Still, it's a lot better than Somos Demonios and a few others that Roger came up with which Scott (and I) pooh-poohed (you ask my opinion, you get my opinion) in their post-Demonios/Infalliable 5 malaise. (Though I thought referring to the Infalliable 5 as the Inevitable 5 was a telling slip-up.)
Though I remembered the Art Brut poster for Roger, I didn't remember my camera until after the elevator went up to 4 and then back down to the lobby. Sometimes I think I'm losing it. Of course I get to the subway just in time to see an R pull out. But the E and the F were going local to Jackson Heights, so I kinda lucked out. At 14th St there were the requisite signs all over but I guess by now, if you put them all in one spot in the transfer tunnel, I'm just immune to them. I ignored 'em. And got there to a train on the local track, but something was coming down the express, so ha ha, suckers! The local leaves, the express finally comes in--and it's going on the uptown local route instead. Right. I knew that. Shit, I just let the downtown go. So I sit down to wait and from behind me, I hear: That's fuckin grimey.
The man clarifies: That's some grimey-ass shit, saying that's going to go uptown over here. That's grimey. That's fuckin grimey. There's no signs. The MTA always wants your money. Grimey. Grimey-ass shit.
A woman in an MTA uniform sits down next to me and the critic's attack now has a target audience. That's right, I'm getting my shit out on you because you see what your shirt says? Motherfuckin MTA just wants your money. Grimey. That's fuckin grimey-ass shit.
The woman defends herself: I don't drive the trains. He keeps up his tirade, but she cuts him off: I'm in the station.
I'm telling you because you walk with them, he explains as the woman mutters curses under her breath. MTfuckinA just takes your money. Grimey!
It's getting late. Then again, I'm going to Freddy's so why shouldn't there be train troubles? She explains to the audience that has gathered since the last uptown that the next train on this track is actually going uptown, not downtown, and to get to South Ferry you have to go to Chambers and take a shuttle.
"I have to get to Brooklyn," one guy says.
"For Brooklyn, you need to go upstairs and take the L," says the MTA worker.
Uhhhmmm....
"I need to go to Park Slope," the man clarifies.
"Go upstairs, take the L...." she repeats, as if she's talking to a 5-yr-old, then stalks off down the platform because Grimey has plunked his bag down on our side of the bench.
"Grimey! Yeah, I'm talking to you!"
Who knew the L goes to Park Slope? I guess with all the rerouting, anyhing's possible. I pull back my jacket sleeve to check my watch, my hand shooting forward involuntarily with that gesture, and I hit Grimey. I flinch, he doesn't seem to notice. Then again, if anything, no one could relate to the grimeyness of the situation better than me. Then I realize: Sucking, out; grimey, in.
"What time do the trains stop running?"
The Tourist, who just missed Grimey's monologue, has us all cracking up. "Can we smoke on the platform?"
"You might as well, since the MTA runs the trains the way they do. Fuckin grimey. Go for it," Grimey says.
The Tourist, in his sport sandals and sport socks, wears a baseball hat with an eagle and the Statue of Liberty in front of an American Flag. Under it, it says USA. He considers, because there are no signs saying that you can't smoke. There aren't any signs anywhere and the trains aren't even marked. Grimey tells him to go ahead and smoke because the MTA just wants our money.
The uptown finally comes and Grimey gets on. Figuring I must be next, I get up and look down the local track. The uptown is in the station for a while and I figure that Grimey is still deep in his monologue. I turn back and he's muttering to someone, the guy nodding his head in agreement.
On the downtown, which is going local to Chambers, I realize that if Roger starts before I get there, then that's pretty fuckin grimey. When I asked, his email said 11 or 11:30, but I figured that wasn't going to happen. I got there @ 11 and The Larch was just starting. I gave Roger the poster and he asked if I heard about the Knitting Factory getting robbed. I told him that he already told me this, and even though The Larch was playing, he told me the whole story over again, directly into my ear. When he finished, I said, "Yeah, that's exactly what you told me the last time." He gives me a puzzled look. "When Scott played." Still no recollection. "Two weeks ago." He nods. "Oh, you just want me whispering in your ear." Great, I actually have a guy in a band whispering in my ear and it's the same story he told me already. Eh, seems about right. I look up and the table to my left is passing around a notepad and writing and I crack up, because when I did that at the Bottom Line, it was all scathing comments about Morely and how much she sucked. See, this is why we should all learn sign language. We're gonna go deaf anyway from all these shows. The Larch did a song about a train in Amsterdam and I wonder if it's grimey. The train, I mean, not the song, and a train in outerspace. Then Roger asked me if I had allergies and if so, do I have anything on me. No, but since I feel bad I offer him my inhaler, if he doesn't mind that it's been in my mouth. "We're close, but I don't think we should share nostrils." Uh, Rog, it doesn't go up yer nose.
Gavin moved the tables, and right before The Saudi Agenda started, he said, "Do you guys know any songs in Arabic? 'Cause that would be funny." I think this is only TSA's 2nd gig, if I'm not mistaken, so I wasn't expecting them to have a full set list, which they did. Then again look who we're dealing with, here. Tell Roger he needs some songs before getting a gig, he'll write a double album. Punk rock opening numbers No Saudi Agenda and Somos Demonios had me picturing Seth, Matt, and Alex tearing the place apart (5/17 @ Southie, yo) and I could see stage diving to some, on some of them I could see Marc jumping up and down. And since this is Roger and this double album would need to be heard, by One Speed I was up as well. They covered The Spunk Lads's Girl At The March, but I'm hoping they only did so in honor of the march earlier that day. They had this song These Are The Jews Who Killed Jesus and I was cracking up, but it was hard to pay attention and rock out at the same time lest jokes fly over your head. Interestingly enough, Gimme Some Lip has found new life as a ska/pop number, so if you still dislike it intensely in this guise at least you can do the twist to it. And Soul Ideal (formerly AKA What is the sound of a punk band masturbating) is now a pop song. Which just proves the old adage true: It's better to put out one great album and break up than risk putting out a second one and piss me off. Roger asked me what I thought about The Jews Who Killed Jesus and I was like, couldn't concentrate, rocking.
So while The Saudi Agenda is definitely not grimey, what about bands that are? What's the handsign for that, a la vortex of suck? Then again, why mess with a classic.
posted by heather @ 7:22 PM
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