Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride
One Bit Music/Corn Mo/Captured! By Robots Gets Married//Northsix//5/6/06
It should be obvious by now that I'm not one of those gals who has these things all figured out already for when the time comes--I doubt there's anyone out there who thinks otherwise by now--but damn, that's the perfect wedding. J.Bot has become an ordained minister of the Universal Life church and will be marrying people during shows.
I haven't been to Northie in ages. Being good sucks. Walking down N6, all the little bistros have their doors open and tables spill out like yolk from eggs. I hear Nirvana blaring from one of them and I'd ponder how wrong that is, but I don't have the time. Parked across the street is Jay's trailer and he, Corn Mo, Mary Prankster and Jake are outside. They asked if I was going to the show. Thankfully I was, because that would've been pretty awkward if I wasn't. Jay decided to fit in in the nabe by putting on his yarkmule. "Oh, dude!" Mary said. "The propeller fell off." She spent the afternoon decorating for the wedding, but being N6 it kinda looked like a gymnasium decorated for a dance on a budget.
One Bit Music consists of a guy playing drums accompanied by a sampler. He had a digital sign on the floor in front of the drumkit that displayed 3 messages--his name, the band name, and the website--continually, but not a message that he's available for weddings and bar mitzvahs. His electronic noodling and doodling is the type of stuff that borders on whiteboy dance/party music. A vest made entirely of zippers sewn together and pink sunglasses were his nods to the lo-tech futuristic thing he does. At one point he held up a clear jewel case that has microchips in it and says that this is the CD that'll be out in stores soon. Huh? What?
I saw Corn Mo once before, but I can't remember when. We'll skip the obvious discussion about the name and just go right into it: There's something weird/annoying/cloying about a grown man whose theme song goes something like it's lollipop time again with the Corn Mo show. I know you're not supposed to take him (that) seriously, but maybe it's one of those instances of being a gimmick with a band (or performer) instead of the other way around, and it was hard to connect. Or take him seriously. He plays accordian and sometimes hits a cymbal on the floor with a drumstick duct-taped to his ankle and whenever he misses or doesn't hit it that hard, I gotta wonder if that's part of the act as well. The songs are kinda rock-ballad style, but there was one about a kid peeing on another one in elementary school. But what do I know, the whole place went crazy after each song. Sometimes I think I should be more sarcastic. Then I'd get it. But his final song was classic--a bar mitzvah number called Hava Nagila Monster. Classic. 'Course every time I hear Hava Nagila I'll think of Corn Mo, but oh well.
Tristan from One-Bit came up to me during the set change and I knew he was going to ask me for pix. He said the zipper vest is very hot and must be what wearing chain mail was like, so at least I know not to waste my time making one. And his CD coming out? You have to plug headphones into the actual case to hear the music, and there are play/ff/rew buttons on it. Huh. Either really kewl or a total gimmick. "I usually have a big speech about it, but I guess I didn't do it right." Uh, nope.
J.Bot was Rebbe Jay Botstein that night, performing in a tallis, yarmulke, and of course the being-captured-by-robots mask. (A rebbe from the Universal Life church???)He was right the last time around: We'll already know the lyrics to his set this time around. He started with White Wedding and covered the usual standards, though I don't know who plays Steve Perry at their wedding. Must be the goyim. On the other hand, it's a good thing I wasn't getting married at this thing because when it came time for wedding time, J.Bot made all the couples line up by the bleachers and then come up front. And there'd be no way I'd lose my spot even if I were getting married. It was like Atom's He Kissed Me, but instead of everyone coupling off and kissing at midnite on NYE, this time around everyone (else) coupled up and got married and then I had to watch couples, no matter how casual it might've been, gaze at each other loopily and I wanted to smack them. ("I give it a year!" said Drumbot.) After that, it was the reception and they did Celebration and Hot Hot Hot--"I better see a conga line or I'm going to fucking kill someone!" etc. There was cake, every time we circled past the bar I saw it. J.Bot told us to get some cake, but after being in a conga line all over N6 and then still getting my spot, no. They did I Can't Help Falling In Love With You for Brooklyn: "Usually wherever I go I'm the Jewiest person there, but tonite I'm only, like, a quarter Jewish."
I thought I'd be able to see LSC after if my show started at 9 as announced. Not only did it not, the F wasn't stopping at 14th, anyway. Too bad, because it said Proper Attire Required on the C!BR site. I didn't know if he meant the couples had to take it seriously and dress nice, the audience did, or the robots had to. But I did--it was the 1st time I was able to tie a tie properly. (Maybe because it was my Briefs tie, I knew that the logo had to land in a certain spot.)
It should be obvious by now that I'm not one of those gals who has these things all figured out already for when the time comes--I doubt there's anyone out there who thinks otherwise by now--but damn, that's the perfect wedding. J.Bot has become an ordained minister of the Universal Life church and will be marrying people during shows.
I haven't been to Northie in ages. Being good sucks. Walking down N6, all the little bistros have their doors open and tables spill out like yolk from eggs. I hear Nirvana blaring from one of them and I'd ponder how wrong that is, but I don't have the time. Parked across the street is Jay's trailer and he, Corn Mo, Mary Prankster and Jake are outside. They asked if I was going to the show. Thankfully I was, because that would've been pretty awkward if I wasn't. Jay decided to fit in in the nabe by putting on his yarkmule. "Oh, dude!" Mary said. "The propeller fell off." She spent the afternoon decorating for the wedding, but being N6 it kinda looked like a gymnasium decorated for a dance on a budget.
One Bit Music consists of a guy playing drums accompanied by a sampler. He had a digital sign on the floor in front of the drumkit that displayed 3 messages--his name, the band name, and the website--continually, but not a message that he's available for weddings and bar mitzvahs. His electronic noodling and doodling is the type of stuff that borders on whiteboy dance/party music. A vest made entirely of zippers sewn together and pink sunglasses were his nods to the lo-tech futuristic thing he does. At one point he held up a clear jewel case that has microchips in it and says that this is the CD that'll be out in stores soon. Huh? What?
I saw Corn Mo once before, but I can't remember when. We'll skip the obvious discussion about the name and just go right into it: There's something weird/annoying/cloying about a grown man whose theme song goes something like it's lollipop time again with the Corn Mo show. I know you're not supposed to take him (that) seriously, but maybe it's one of those instances of being a gimmick with a band (or performer) instead of the other way around, and it was hard to connect. Or take him seriously. He plays accordian and sometimes hits a cymbal on the floor with a drumstick duct-taped to his ankle and whenever he misses or doesn't hit it that hard, I gotta wonder if that's part of the act as well. The songs are kinda rock-ballad style, but there was one about a kid peeing on another one in elementary school. But what do I know, the whole place went crazy after each song. Sometimes I think I should be more sarcastic. Then I'd get it. But his final song was classic--a bar mitzvah number called Hava Nagila Monster. Classic. 'Course every time I hear Hava Nagila I'll think of Corn Mo, but oh well.
Tristan from One-Bit came up to me during the set change and I knew he was going to ask me for pix. He said the zipper vest is very hot and must be what wearing chain mail was like, so at least I know not to waste my time making one. And his CD coming out? You have to plug headphones into the actual case to hear the music, and there are play/ff/rew buttons on it. Huh. Either really kewl or a total gimmick. "I usually have a big speech about it, but I guess I didn't do it right." Uh, nope.
J.Bot was Rebbe Jay Botstein that night, performing in a tallis, yarmulke, and of course the being-captured-by-robots mask. (A rebbe from the Universal Life church???)He was right the last time around: We'll already know the lyrics to his set this time around. He started with White Wedding and covered the usual standards, though I don't know who plays Steve Perry at their wedding. Must be the goyim. On the other hand, it's a good thing I wasn't getting married at this thing because when it came time for wedding time, J.Bot made all the couples line up by the bleachers and then come up front. And there'd be no way I'd lose my spot even if I were getting married. It was like Atom's He Kissed Me, but instead of everyone coupling off and kissing at midnite on NYE, this time around everyone (else) coupled up and got married and then I had to watch couples, no matter how casual it might've been, gaze at each other loopily and I wanted to smack them. ("I give it a year!" said Drumbot.) After that, it was the reception and they did Celebration and Hot Hot Hot--"I better see a conga line or I'm going to fucking kill someone!" etc. There was cake, every time we circled past the bar I saw it. J.Bot told us to get some cake, but after being in a conga line all over N6 and then still getting my spot, no. They did I Can't Help Falling In Love With You for Brooklyn: "Usually wherever I go I'm the Jewiest person there, but tonite I'm only, like, a quarter Jewish."
I thought I'd be able to see LSC after if my show started at 9 as announced. Not only did it not, the F wasn't stopping at 14th, anyway. Too bad, because it said Proper Attire Required on the C!BR site. I didn't know if he meant the couples had to take it seriously and dress nice, the audience did, or the robots had to. But I did--it was the 1st time I was able to tie a tie properly. (Maybe because it was my Briefs tie, I knew that the logo had to land in a certain spot.)
posted by heather @ 9:44 PM
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