Mazel Tov Cocktail

The Heebie-Jeebies at CBGB’s—A secret history of Jewish punk
Steven Lee Beeber

(Yeah, I was figuring to put this next since I didn’t know what else to do with it and writing about a punk show at The Delancey is probably as close as we’re gonna get these days. But good segue from The Bullitts, so props. And props for the props. I love it when a plan comes together.)

“Punk reflects the whole Jewish history of oppression and uncertainty, flight and wandering, belonging and not belonging, always being divided, being both in and out, good and bad, part and apart. The shpilkes, the nervous energy of punk, is Jewish.” (page xi) “The punks were sarcastic, cutting to the bone. Their smartass humor made you think—and perhaps change your views—when you least expected to.” (page xii) “Yes, they were the blank generation, but as Richard Hell (Meyers) explained, that didn’t mean that they didn’t care. They were looking for a way to fill in the emptiness, create new identities, and make new worlds for themselves. A quote from British Jew Malcolm McLaren, on the back cover, calls the Jews that birthed punk rock “dysfunctional kids in search of an identity—lonely, uncomfortable, wild-eyed wanderers given to sexy, subversive, and stylish rebellion. All of the characters in this book somehow contributed to a culture that refuses to allow anyone to return to normalcy again. . . .”

What follows is 232 pages backing up these points.

When I first heard about the book, I thought that it seemed so obvious, so why didn’t someone write this sooner?

There are some good points to the book, like the fact that it was written in the first place. Beeber offers character sketches of punk rock characters in the early ages and stages of NYC punk and world history to prove his points, and why the Ramones and Dictators took on identities from other cultures, but it seems overreaching in some places. When I went back to the book to conclude the review, I saw that I had the subtitle down as A secret Jewish history of punk instead of the actual subtitle of A secret history of Jewish punk. To me there’s a difference, but what do I know? And we have to read lines like “If we take out our old copy of The Dictators Go Girl Crazy and gaze at the cover. . . .” which just sounds weird because this is about music. And at times toward the end of the chapter I’m like, I heard you earlier on. What I mean about overreaching is the chapter on “Hotsy-Totsy Nazi Schatzes,” about the history of camp and Nazi imagery, which just slows the book down—a whole chapter of Yes, I heard you the first time. But also problematic is that the chapter starts “According to rumor the following scene is true. While I can make no definitive statement as to its veracity, I heard it from 2 highly placed sources who prefer to remain nameless. Understandably.” Well, if the book is non-fiction, why is rumor and gossip in the book? (Chris Stein & Debbie Harry, Stiv Bators & his Jewish girlfriend, and Cheetah Chrome & his girlfriend had sex on top of a Nazi flag as some sort of punk/reclaiming the imagery statement, if you really need to know.)

Anyway, from that chapter it then goes on to The New JAPS (Jewish American Punks) and he finds 2 obscuro Jewish female-fronted bands, and then includes wacko statements from sudden-Jew Courtney Love and then somehow goes on to include Karen O and Brett Anderson as the faces to emerge in the wake of Riot Grrrl. “None of them is Jewish, perhaps a sign that the changes wrought by that subgroup have finally filtered out to the populace in general.”

Uhm, yeah.

But the freaky part is—aside from learning that Andy Shernoff of The Dictators went to New Paltz and invited rock writer Richard Meltzer to NP to give a lecture that “was cut short when the rock writer staggered offstage after only a few seconds to drunkenly puke behind the curtains. What followed was a bender of mythic proportions, three Jewboys drinking and drugging their way through the remainder of the week . . . As Meltzer recalls, ‘It was one of the best 5-day parties I ever had’ ”—the freaky part is learning just how normal I sound just from this book. It’s a hardcover book so I can’t put it in a jacket pocket and read it at a show, so I finished it when I was out sick from work. It kind of threw me a little and it made it hard for me to post. Here I was, thinking everything I did was because I became an “other,” but I was conforming all along. Or I was just looking for an excuse. Lenny Kaye, quoted in Chapter 1: “Jews have always been a writerly race . . . what is the Bible but an explication of art’s implications . . . and what are Biblical scholars but critics of the Bible? I like to see myself as part of that tradition. I like to think of myself as a scholar of the Talmud of rock & roll.” But what’s this thing about Jews and sarcasm, and self-hating Jews? I don’t get it.

Then he ends with the epilogue “One of Us,” mentioning American Hardcore, going on to point out that “Riot Grrrl and New Punk reflects a continued Jewish presence in rock, though it may seem increasingly unconscious or dilute.” (Sleater-Kinney has a song called I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone. I mean had. Which he did not mention. See what I mean.) And the chapter includes shoutouts to Stephen Malkmus, grunge, the Strokes, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, so it’s kinda funny that he missed George Tabb since he seems so name-droppy and eager to prove his theories about how Jews of 70s punk influenced other punks and artists and just about every genre. (“I may be a Jewboy myself, but I’m still cool! Look at all this stuff I know about music! And punk music, at that!”) And the epilogue is followed by an afterward, where he drops his own name by mentioning how he was watching TV at the end of a day of working on the book with a glass of vodka in his hands. He takes some potshots at The Learning Channel’s offerings and hears the Ramones in a Nissan commercial. “Has my radio somehow crossed lines with my television? Have my two appliances gone crazy through interbreeding, like sort of tune transmitted over a teenager’s braces?” (This is a book about music—and punk music—remember?) What else could he do but laugh as he realizes that the Ramones—and the Jews—have won in the end, because now they truly have attained commercial success.

Now, I’m the last person who should point out if someone’s writing rambles because I can only imagine what you have to go thru, dear readers. You probably think, Get to the point already! GTTPA! (G2TPA!) Or, Get to the fucking point already! GTTFPA!—like Dan Savage’s DTMFA for “Dump the Motherfucker, Already” and ITMFA, “Impeach the Motherfucker, Already.” I mean, I also said that Beeber overstated his points and I did as well. But these are the corresponding lyrics from Yidcore’s Punk Rock Chanukah Song:

Here’s a list of people who are Jewish, just like you & me:
Joey Ramone ate matzoh at the seder
Just like Richard Hell and most of the Dictators
Lou Reed danced the hora at his Bar Mitzvah bash
With little Jonny Richman and Mick Jones from the Clash
So many Jews are in the punk rock biz
Sid Vicious wasn’t Jewish
But his manager sure is.

And, like a good punk song should, it clocks in at 2:49. And there are no source notes. Or index.