Say What?!

Nick Sylvester's CMJ recap, 9/20/05

How could something that starts so brilliantly turn into a mass of mastubatory gobbledygook? Oh, right. It's a Village Voice music review. A/K/A "What is the sound of one hand masturbating while the other alternates between the laptop and patting yourself on the back?" But which bands sucked? Which didn't? Why spend all that time on cutesy segues and wink-wink references if not everyone knows what he's talking about? Then again, I guess since I didn't get it and don't know the secret handshake, I am therefore lame. And old. Still, this is slightly more coherent than a Christgau review because look who I'm comparing it to.

So if you--like me--find yourself losing interest with Robert Christgau by the time you return with the dictionary/thesaurus, pull up a chair, grab some tea (or coffee) and crumpets and finger sandwiches and let's have a nice, civilized discussion about music. (Bring your own tea, coffee, crumpets, and finger sandwiches.) And don't make me have to ban any of your asses from posting to this site.

Thanx! Enjoy!