SONYC Reducer
Han Shot First/More/Valeze/ism/Quarterslot//The Delancey//12/8/05
Once upon a time, I was handed an invite after leaving a Mooney Suzuki show. It was for a new dance/garage rock party called Satisfaction! and there was an email address to be on the guestlist for the launch nite. I thought, Isn't it a little late for this? I mean, it's the end of 2002. But I emailed them anyway and I've been on the Lo-Fi Entertainment mailing list ever since.
Satisfaction! was a bust from the first nite. It's never smart to start a dance party in the dead of winter. In addition to the DJ every week and dancing upstairs, there were bands downstairs. The first night was like a junior high dance, with boys and girls standing on opposite sides of the room staring at each other, not knowing what to do. Maybe this is what all dance parties are like until the crowd drinks enough to start dancing, I don't know. Lee, the guy running Satisfaction!, would send out an email every week with a reminder for the party and asking us to tell our friends who are in garage bands to get in touch with him to play at a future date. I was debating about whether or not to ask The Spunk Lads and almost gave them the info a few times, but something about it bothered me. Obviously I never went back to those parties after the 1st nite, but shouldn't Lee already have a slew of bands tapped to appear on one of his bills? He's the booker. I'm not going to do the work for him. (Besides, The Spunk Lads wouldn't've gotten in touch with him, anyhow.) At one point there was a band called The Fad, who I think he put together just because garage rock was the big draw at that time. Or they were just naive enough to choose Lee as a mentor/ booking agent. They weren't all that good, anyway.
Satisfaction! fell by the wayside and soon I started getting emails about Electrocity, Lee's new electroclash dance party, right around the time that electroclash started eating itself. In the meantime, I'd also get emails about his short low budget "films," which reek of Trust me, baby, I'm a director! Now, take your top off! And does anybody know anybody that can lend him a projector? Or want to be a dancer (resumes must include headshots)? Do we know anybody who's in a New Wave-y type band who wants to play Electrocity? Know any DJs? Again, why can't he figure these things out on his own? Why can't he ask the bands himself? Is it because nobody wants to deal with him? Does he have an original thought in his head?
Now he hosts gothy DJ nights and books shows @ Rare and the Pussycat. I went to one @ Rare that involved a presale racket of saving $2--but you're buying a ticket thru SmartTix, which cost $1.50. The ticket and confirmation email never arrived and I got there to find someone handing out fliers at the door for $2 off. I could've done that and really saved $2. You were supposed to get a free EP with the ticket stub, but there weren't ticket stubs and the guy at the door, cursing Lee under his breath, was ripping up emails of the transaction. Needless to say that when one of his weekly entertainment schedules went out and said he was looking for a full-time employee, I responded but didn't really want the job. Not that I think I know more than he does about the NY music scene (though I prolly do) I didn't really want the job. His latest project is SONYC (Sounds of NYC), a website dedicated to the local music scene. (See also The Deli, JellyNYC, and Oh My Rockness.) I told him that even if I wasn't right for the job I'd be happy to write for SONYC, memtioning the shows I had coming up and had just been to. He never responded. Not that I care one way or the other, but.... The problem with the Deli (the only one I've read because it's free and it was there) is that it's the handholding, backpatting journalism favored by those writing for a college newspaper. Everything's good, sounds like this band crossed with that in a back alley, that sorta stuff. I've already "interned" at a free music publication where I paid my dues (and many other people's) in the hopes of the thing getting off the ground and when it takes off I'll already have a job. Instead of writing about music or seeing any shows, I had to, among other degrading things, "take messages" from writers/advertisers who hadn't gotten paid. Yeah, valuable experience, but I did not get very far in my life. And besides, I'm not really in the position to get involved in startups now.
Still, Lee's latest show for SONYC had a half-price list if you contact him, which I did. 2 of the bands I've seen already and 1 I'd been meaning to. One of the bands that I've seen already were already featured in The Deli (again, does Lee have an original thought in his head?) and the band I was curious about already had a residency @ Sin-e. They've probably been covered by The Deli as well--I know they had an ad for the residency. But 5 bands for $4 sounded great. So I emailed him that I was interested in attending the show @ The Delancey and the $4 admission. He wrote back, Which show is this for? Can't he keep track of his lists and shows? Then again, this is probably why he was looking to hire someone full-time. Nothing like a booker who's got his head up his ass. I went there debating whether or not to bring up the fact that I sent in a resume. I get there and said "I'm on Lee's list." It was him at the door and he said, "Which band are you in?" I must've had a "what the fuck?" look on my face because he then said, "Oh, the $4 list."
Doors at 7:30, 1st band at 8, but Soundguy didn't get there til 8:45. In the meantime there was a lot of hugging going on. Han Shot First, a Star Wars reference I guess, was lost on me because I'm that one person who's not into Star Wars. So that's my fault and not the band's. What is the band's fault is their blandness and all-around suckiness. On the one hand it was nice that SONYC shows that there more to bands in NYC than studded belts, tight black pants, eyeliner, and haircuts, but this is ridiculous. They're the type of band that you'd expect to hear in like Bahama Mama's on Washington St. Yeah they suck but at least they're not a cover band--though they sounded like a jam band. "I'm the guy you always pass by," they announce in Invisible Man. "When did I become the invisible man?" Uh, when you got onstage. The singer was in a knit beanie, guitar player sporting a Kangol and shirt unbuttoned to show off chest hair, the gal on bass looking like she'd just picked it up for the first time that nite. All it took was one look and it was obvious that they were not going to rock your world, let alone rock in general. They dedicated Prayer to survivors of Hurricane Katrina--"It's a long way to heaven when you're living in hell" and it ended with "It's a long way to heaven when you're in the bottom of a well." What does the baby who was trapped in a well have to do w/Hurricane Katrina? They ended w/Father Christmas, y'know, "Father Christmas bring us some money, save your toys for the little rich boys." Rocked it because they didn't write it.
When More 1st got onstage I thought they were a punk(ish) band and probably not a good one at that. The guitar player had bleached hair and the bass player a studded belt, eyeliner, safety pins up the sides of his T, and black nail polish. Then their lead singer got onstage. They're a rock band and not a good one at that. The singer just takes being in a band too seriously. His T-shirt is molded to his buff chest and he's in motorcycle boots. His stance is straight out of Rockstar 101: Grip the mic with both hands, foot on the monitor, arm around your bandmates. I just don't like him. It's the type of rock for people whose idea of dressing casually is designer jeans. He dedicates a song to Alanis Morrisette: a cover of Seal's Crazy. The huggers come up front and start dancing. Toward the end of their set, a guy dressed all gangsta comes forward, yelling that the singer is such a rockstar. I can't tell if he thinks this is a compliment or not, but then starts singing along. When Valeze starts setting up, he actually says, Is she the singer? No way!
Valeze had one huge problem from the start. Lead singer Tiffany was wearing ugly red moon boots with Airwalk on the straps in white lettering. Even if the brand name wasn't advertised so prominently, it's still a problem. Tiffany is a petite woman who weighs like 85 lbs. and these fugly boots look like they weigh more than she does. They look like orthopedic boots. She's dressed in a Spandex skirt that's one sneeze away from total disclosure, a white racing jacket, and a black bra. What would possess her to put on these ugly boots? They're distracting. It doesn't really matter since there's not much there. This is the hazard of reading a free music magazine. They sounded interesting on paper. New Wave-y, clubby, synthy stuff. I liked them when I saw them in April because at least there was more of a crowd who was into them. Though I can't remember if the guys in the band had coordinated, ripped and safety pinned blazers the last time. Tiffany and the band has been compared to Debbie Harry and Blondie but that's not even close. Valeze is all image and look over substance, with Tiffany letting her sexuality do the talking because the music says nothing. First time I saw them I couldn't stand her cloying slithering, writhing, but I guess her boots are holding her back. Searching To Destroy never really finds what its target. Valeze wants to seduce you but all they do is flirt shamelessly.
With the late start and being pulled into a ^ all night, I was getting bored by the time ism rolled around. They're more like the typical NYC sound and nothing special. Probably younger than me. By the time Quarterslot rolled around I'd been at the Delancey for 5 hours and my back was killing me, I was bored, tired, and I had to go home and in to work the next morning. If you're ever seeing a show that Quartslot's playing and you're not there to see them, you should totally stick around because Heidi brings fresh-baked brownies. Unless you can't have chocolate, in which case never mind. You can smell the band when they get there--in a good way. This time around Heidi was wearing a Dorothy getup complete with red glitter pumps and she vamped her way through their torchy ballads (Lonely Girl). If there were ever a woman who would be named Heidi, it's Quarterslot and the Good Vibrations' limber-limbed vixen stalking around, unbuttoning her guitar player's shirt, standing on the drumkit in heels, and laying across monitors. If I'd booked the show I wouldn't've put them and Valeze on the same bill, even though ism was in there to break it up. Too similar, even though Valeze isn't good and Quarterslot is. Tiffany was there watching, perhaps taking notes. After Heidi doused us with her bottled water, she was sliding around so someone brought napkins from the bar and started mopping the floor. "I'm the only one who should be on all fours, here!" Heidi scolded. On all fours, ass in the air, she said, "Women don't save that for marriage anymore!"
A way too late nite for bands like those. I was so expecting an F train reroute when I got to Delancey but no. I got in about 3. I was half-expecting an angry message from my mom that my sister had the baby and where the hell am I, irresponsible, what-have-you. Yeah, Lee probably knew what he was doing when he never replied to my resume.
Once upon a time, I was handed an invite after leaving a Mooney Suzuki show. It was for a new dance/garage rock party called Satisfaction! and there was an email address to be on the guestlist for the launch nite. I thought, Isn't it a little late for this? I mean, it's the end of 2002. But I emailed them anyway and I've been on the Lo-Fi Entertainment mailing list ever since.
Satisfaction! was a bust from the first nite. It's never smart to start a dance party in the dead of winter. In addition to the DJ every week and dancing upstairs, there were bands downstairs. The first night was like a junior high dance, with boys and girls standing on opposite sides of the room staring at each other, not knowing what to do. Maybe this is what all dance parties are like until the crowd drinks enough to start dancing, I don't know. Lee, the guy running Satisfaction!, would send out an email every week with a reminder for the party and asking us to tell our friends who are in garage bands to get in touch with him to play at a future date. I was debating about whether or not to ask The Spunk Lads and almost gave them the info a few times, but something about it bothered me. Obviously I never went back to those parties after the 1st nite, but shouldn't Lee already have a slew of bands tapped to appear on one of his bills? He's the booker. I'm not going to do the work for him. (Besides, The Spunk Lads wouldn't've gotten in touch with him, anyhow.) At one point there was a band called The Fad, who I think he put together just because garage rock was the big draw at that time. Or they were just naive enough to choose Lee as a mentor/ booking agent. They weren't all that good, anyway.
Satisfaction! fell by the wayside and soon I started getting emails about Electrocity, Lee's new electroclash dance party, right around the time that electroclash started eating itself. In the meantime, I'd also get emails about his short low budget "films," which reek of Trust me, baby, I'm a director! Now, take your top off! And does anybody know anybody that can lend him a projector? Or want to be a dancer (resumes must include headshots)? Do we know anybody who's in a New Wave-y type band who wants to play Electrocity? Know any DJs? Again, why can't he figure these things out on his own? Why can't he ask the bands himself? Is it because nobody wants to deal with him? Does he have an original thought in his head?
Now he hosts gothy DJ nights and books shows @ Rare and the Pussycat. I went to one @ Rare that involved a presale racket of saving $2--but you're buying a ticket thru SmartTix, which cost $1.50. The ticket and confirmation email never arrived and I got there to find someone handing out fliers at the door for $2 off. I could've done that and really saved $2. You were supposed to get a free EP with the ticket stub, but there weren't ticket stubs and the guy at the door, cursing Lee under his breath, was ripping up emails of the transaction. Needless to say that when one of his weekly entertainment schedules went out and said he was looking for a full-time employee, I responded but didn't really want the job. Not that I think I know more than he does about the NY music scene (though I prolly do) I didn't really want the job. His latest project is SONYC (Sounds of NYC), a website dedicated to the local music scene. (See also The Deli, JellyNYC, and Oh My Rockness.) I told him that even if I wasn't right for the job I'd be happy to write for SONYC, memtioning the shows I had coming up and had just been to. He never responded. Not that I care one way or the other, but.... The problem with the Deli (the only one I've read because it's free and it was there) is that it's the handholding, backpatting journalism favored by those writing for a college newspaper. Everything's good, sounds like this band crossed with that in a back alley, that sorta stuff. I've already "interned" at a free music publication where I paid my dues (and many other people's) in the hopes of the thing getting off the ground and when it takes off I'll already have a job. Instead of writing about music or seeing any shows, I had to, among other degrading things, "take messages" from writers/advertisers who hadn't gotten paid. Yeah, valuable experience, but I did not get very far in my life. And besides, I'm not really in the position to get involved in startups now.
Still, Lee's latest show for SONYC had a half-price list if you contact him, which I did. 2 of the bands I've seen already and 1 I'd been meaning to. One of the bands that I've seen already were already featured in The Deli (again, does Lee have an original thought in his head?) and the band I was curious about already had a residency @ Sin-e. They've probably been covered by The Deli as well--I know they had an ad for the residency. But 5 bands for $4 sounded great. So I emailed him that I was interested in attending the show @ The Delancey and the $4 admission. He wrote back, Which show is this for? Can't he keep track of his lists and shows? Then again, this is probably why he was looking to hire someone full-time. Nothing like a booker who's got his head up his ass. I went there debating whether or not to bring up the fact that I sent in a resume. I get there and said "I'm on Lee's list." It was him at the door and he said, "Which band are you in?" I must've had a "what the fuck?" look on my face because he then said, "Oh, the $4 list."
Doors at 7:30, 1st band at 8, but Soundguy didn't get there til 8:45. In the meantime there was a lot of hugging going on. Han Shot First, a Star Wars reference I guess, was lost on me because I'm that one person who's not into Star Wars. So that's my fault and not the band's. What is the band's fault is their blandness and all-around suckiness. On the one hand it was nice that SONYC shows that there more to bands in NYC than studded belts, tight black pants, eyeliner, and haircuts, but this is ridiculous. They're the type of band that you'd expect to hear in like Bahama Mama's on Washington St. Yeah they suck but at least they're not a cover band--though they sounded like a jam band. "I'm the guy you always pass by," they announce in Invisible Man. "When did I become the invisible man?" Uh, when you got onstage. The singer was in a knit beanie, guitar player sporting a Kangol and shirt unbuttoned to show off chest hair, the gal on bass looking like she'd just picked it up for the first time that nite. All it took was one look and it was obvious that they were not going to rock your world, let alone rock in general. They dedicated Prayer to survivors of Hurricane Katrina--"It's a long way to heaven when you're living in hell" and it ended with "It's a long way to heaven when you're in the bottom of a well." What does the baby who was trapped in a well have to do w/Hurricane Katrina? They ended w/Father Christmas, y'know, "Father Christmas bring us some money, save your toys for the little rich boys." Rocked it because they didn't write it.
When More 1st got onstage I thought they were a punk(ish) band and probably not a good one at that. The guitar player had bleached hair and the bass player a studded belt, eyeliner, safety pins up the sides of his T, and black nail polish. Then their lead singer got onstage. They're a rock band and not a good one at that. The singer just takes being in a band too seriously. His T-shirt is molded to his buff chest and he's in motorcycle boots. His stance is straight out of Rockstar 101: Grip the mic with both hands, foot on the monitor, arm around your bandmates. I just don't like him. It's the type of rock for people whose idea of dressing casually is designer jeans. He dedicates a song to Alanis Morrisette: a cover of Seal's Crazy. The huggers come up front and start dancing. Toward the end of their set, a guy dressed all gangsta comes forward, yelling that the singer is such a rockstar. I can't tell if he thinks this is a compliment or not, but then starts singing along. When Valeze starts setting up, he actually says, Is she the singer? No way!
Valeze had one huge problem from the start. Lead singer Tiffany was wearing ugly red moon boots with Airwalk on the straps in white lettering. Even if the brand name wasn't advertised so prominently, it's still a problem. Tiffany is a petite woman who weighs like 85 lbs. and these fugly boots look like they weigh more than she does. They look like orthopedic boots. She's dressed in a Spandex skirt that's one sneeze away from total disclosure, a white racing jacket, and a black bra. What would possess her to put on these ugly boots? They're distracting. It doesn't really matter since there's not much there. This is the hazard of reading a free music magazine. They sounded interesting on paper. New Wave-y, clubby, synthy stuff. I liked them when I saw them in April because at least there was more of a crowd who was into them. Though I can't remember if the guys in the band had coordinated, ripped and safety pinned blazers the last time. Tiffany and the band has been compared to Debbie Harry and Blondie but that's not even close. Valeze is all image and look over substance, with Tiffany letting her sexuality do the talking because the music says nothing. First time I saw them I couldn't stand her cloying slithering, writhing, but I guess her boots are holding her back. Searching To Destroy never really finds what its target. Valeze wants to seduce you but all they do is flirt shamelessly.
With the late start and being pulled into a ^ all night, I was getting bored by the time ism rolled around. They're more like the typical NYC sound and nothing special. Probably younger than me. By the time Quarterslot rolled around I'd been at the Delancey for 5 hours and my back was killing me, I was bored, tired, and I had to go home and in to work the next morning. If you're ever seeing a show that Quartslot's playing and you're not there to see them, you should totally stick around because Heidi brings fresh-baked brownies. Unless you can't have chocolate, in which case never mind. You can smell the band when they get there--in a good way. This time around Heidi was wearing a Dorothy getup complete with red glitter pumps and she vamped her way through their torchy ballads (Lonely Girl). If there were ever a woman who would be named Heidi, it's Quarterslot and the Good Vibrations' limber-limbed vixen stalking around, unbuttoning her guitar player's shirt, standing on the drumkit in heels, and laying across monitors. If I'd booked the show I wouldn't've put them and Valeze on the same bill, even though ism was in there to break it up. Too similar, even though Valeze isn't good and Quarterslot is. Tiffany was there watching, perhaps taking notes. After Heidi doused us with her bottled water, she was sliding around so someone brought napkins from the bar and started mopping the floor. "I'm the only one who should be on all fours, here!" Heidi scolded. On all fours, ass in the air, she said, "Women don't save that for marriage anymore!"
A way too late nite for bands like those. I was so expecting an F train reroute when I got to Delancey but no. I got in about 3. I was half-expecting an angry message from my mom that my sister had the baby and where the hell am I, irresponsible, what-have-you. Yeah, Lee probably knew what he was doing when he never replied to my resume.
posted by heather @ 1:13 AM
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