Night Of The Living Things
Stylofone/Giraffes/Living Things/Diamond Nights//Bowery Ballroom//12/13/05
The Best Punk Band You've Never Heard taunted a coverline on Spin magazine earlier this year. Really? I had a few guesses/suggestions but was probably wrong. I was right--I was wrong. Living Things, Spin said, is the punk band in question. I started reading the article and the word dangerous cropped up. Huh. Living Things had an August residency in the N6 basement in 2004, and I was thinking of going because I thought they were a garage rock band and it either sounded interesting or there was a cool flyer someplace, but it was birthday month and hard to get out there during that month--and then it was cancelled a few weeks in. I never finished the whole article so I don't know what particulars were mentioned; I was reading it in B&N whilst waiting for Larry's reading to start.
They came around again in June and I was all set to go except the gig was at Cakeshop--and two days after the Lads' gig when I hurt my toe and couldn't walk. They were supposed to play a few days later at The Delancey, but when I got there I was told they never came because their flight was cancelled. I think they were at Pianos but couldn't make that one. Then they were @ Scenic for CMJ at 1 in the morning and I had to get up early the next day. An invite-only release party/gig sponsored by Spin. So now I'm thinking that they're a punk band the same way The Hives are. And, of course, Now this I gotta see.
Yeah, this is the last-minute ticket I got last week. Yes, I do have a problem. Especially when I got to The Bowery Ballroom @ 6:30 and had to wait downstairs--in the Bowery subway station. I lost feeling in my toes but they wouldn't let me in downstairs til 7. Then I told myself that I was being a wuss and spent the last 15 mins. waiting outside, listening to a loud soundcheck. Guys in motorcycle jackets and one in a studded black vest loads in. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. The boys in question were none other than Stylofone, and the guy in the sleeves-cut-off studded black denim jacket wore a Danzig shirt underneath, and had Nausea and Doom patches on the jacket. Hm. Oh my god, they're heavy metal! Without robots and wigs! All these big, powerful, arena-rock riffs. Solos! I just stood there with a stupid grin on my face thru the whole set.
The Giraffes have been at it for a while. I remember seeing them upstairs at Coney after the Ghoulies and I didn't like them. Then again, I wasn't wearing earplugs back then. So I was curious to see what's up with them since they seem to be having a second coming. The problem is that the bouncers started busting cameras and I started freaking out. They spoke to the guy behind me, but he kept at it. Maybe he said no flash photography. The bouncer circulated and returned to his spot by the backstage staircase and called another bouncer who came over and scolded you. I've never seen anything like this @ the Bowery and I don't know if it's just for that night or if this is the way it is now. I didn't want to get yelled at until Living Things went on. Then I wasn't sure if I should fight it if they spoke to me or figure it's not worth it. I planned on lying and saying I was with a publication, but which one? That's it; I'm bootlegging my ass a photo pass. Meanwhile the Giraffes have been at it for a while, swiggin whiskey and playing hard rock/metal. Their guitar player jumps offstage and stands in front of me, but since I'm the only schmo in a sweater/thermals I move aside lest the photogs document this. So a girl comes forward and gyrates behind him, then wraps her arms around him. And he falls down on top of her. After the set, he says, "Did I fall on top of my mom?"
I should've known what I was in for by the Living Things' website. It uses pop-ups that I can never close. This pisses me off. I should've known what I was in for if the band is hyped by Spin magazine. Best punk band? Now, I know that "punk" encompasses a broad range of musical expression, from pop-y to straight-up to sludgy hardcore. It does not refer to a boring, glammy rock band. Or Spin's pets. Maybe they're better in a small club and not on a high stage like at The Bowery Ballroom. Maybe they're more confrontational or aggressive that way. The venue plays a huge part of the live band experience, I know. But still. I don't care how political your lyrics or what they're about, but Living Things are not punk. Duh. They're not even aggressive. I had to wonder if they were living. I mean, I don't know what the buzz is about them--and I don't mean that I don't understand it--I mean I seriously don't know it. I don't read Spin or Rollingstone or have MTV or Fuse, so alls I know is that conduits of music information speak of them often. Is it their lyrics that's got tongues a-waggin'? Their politics? Is it their incessant partying/boozing/drugging? Wrecking hotel rooms and women across America? So I had to find out. Someone fired one up as soon as the band got onstage so I figured I was safe as far as photography was concerned since I figured the bouncers had bigger problems on their hands than whether or not the flash photographer had a pass. The band was dressed in black, of course. Lead singer Lillian Berlin was in turquoise pants and matching vest with no shirt. He kinda reminded me of David Johansen a little but not by much, especially after he took his vest off. The band name was projected on a movie screen behind them, as if we forgot/couldn't read the drum kit. But the bass player had a nice Star of David tattooed on his bicep--forarm, whatever, the guy didn't have any muscles--so that was cool, even though he had a hipster hairdo. Watching them, I thought: Well, I never saw The Strokes at their peak-to-steady climb but now I have. Seriously. Lillian held his arms up, in rockstar/Jesus mode a few times and jumped into the audience to sing, but big deal. I've seen that before. 7 songs. 8, if you count the one that was crossed off.
As if the Diamond Nights feature in the Deli wasn't a dead giveaway about these guys, the lead singer's white moccasin/loafers were. Shortly after they start, 2 blondes come out of nowhere and charge up front like they own the place--or the band--oblivious to the fact that people have been there all night. They looked like the types that work in PR/event planning. One had an orange tan and straw hair. Her pant legs were tucked into calf-high brown boots and she shimmied around as though the music called for such moves. The other managed to dress somewhat better, except for the huge-bead necklace circa this past summer and the Coach purse that kept hitting me. I was like, Would you put that thing on the floor already? Believe me, nobody'd want it. She apologized for hitting me but only once, explaining that it's her friend's brother in the band. You'd think the band would tell these idiots to get lost because they want people to think they're cool. Or maybe hanging around with those nitwits is charity and we're supposed to find the band even cooler because they hang out with the terminally lame. I mean, nobody would think the band cool because of their music. There's a reason I keep seeing Satanicide even though I know all of their jokes by heart. They're good. They're alive. These guys couldn't find their way back home from a Greek diner.
So the moral of the story, kids, is that if someone tells you that a band is best one you've never heard and that person isn't me, don't listen. "Lillian Berlin is Johnny Rotten with politics."--VV. Uh, wouldn't Johnny Rotten with politics be Joe Strummer? "This is political rock that can hold its own against the PlayStation in the battle for teen attention spans."--Blender. Y'know, that's not exactly saying much since anything's better than a PlayStation. "It's been a long, long time since rock music felt even remotely dangerous....."--Interview. Huh? I figured they were saving rock the same way The Strokes did and the same way The Hives saved punk. Maybe the album is good and the band's just been on a long tour/drunk/stoned. Maybe they were being ironic/sarcastic and I didn't get it. But Living Things are from St. Louis. As in Missouri. Isn't that the Show-Me State? So show me that they're dangerous. I cheated on House for this? I wish I could rant and rail about how I should demand my money back, but I did this to myself. I'm so embarrassed. I give the night a 6 or 7 (dollars, out of the $13 cover) for Stylofone.
The Best Punk Band You've Never Heard taunted a coverline on Spin magazine earlier this year. Really? I had a few guesses/suggestions but was probably wrong. I was right--I was wrong. Living Things, Spin said, is the punk band in question. I started reading the article and the word dangerous cropped up. Huh. Living Things had an August residency in the N6 basement in 2004, and I was thinking of going because I thought they were a garage rock band and it either sounded interesting or there was a cool flyer someplace, but it was birthday month and hard to get out there during that month--and then it was cancelled a few weeks in. I never finished the whole article so I don't know what particulars were mentioned; I was reading it in B&N whilst waiting for Larry's reading to start.
They came around again in June and I was all set to go except the gig was at Cakeshop--and two days after the Lads' gig when I hurt my toe and couldn't walk. They were supposed to play a few days later at The Delancey, but when I got there I was told they never came because their flight was cancelled. I think they were at Pianos but couldn't make that one. Then they were @ Scenic for CMJ at 1 in the morning and I had to get up early the next day. An invite-only release party/gig sponsored by Spin. So now I'm thinking that they're a punk band the same way The Hives are. And, of course, Now this I gotta see.
Yeah, this is the last-minute ticket I got last week. Yes, I do have a problem. Especially when I got to The Bowery Ballroom @ 6:30 and had to wait downstairs--in the Bowery subway station. I lost feeling in my toes but they wouldn't let me in downstairs til 7. Then I told myself that I was being a wuss and spent the last 15 mins. waiting outside, listening to a loud soundcheck. Guys in motorcycle jackets and one in a studded black vest loads in. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. The boys in question were none other than Stylofone, and the guy in the sleeves-cut-off studded black denim jacket wore a Danzig shirt underneath, and had Nausea and Doom patches on the jacket. Hm. Oh my god, they're heavy metal! Without robots and wigs! All these big, powerful, arena-rock riffs. Solos! I just stood there with a stupid grin on my face thru the whole set.
The Giraffes have been at it for a while. I remember seeing them upstairs at Coney after the Ghoulies and I didn't like them. Then again, I wasn't wearing earplugs back then. So I was curious to see what's up with them since they seem to be having a second coming. The problem is that the bouncers started busting cameras and I started freaking out. They spoke to the guy behind me, but he kept at it. Maybe he said no flash photography. The bouncer circulated and returned to his spot by the backstage staircase and called another bouncer who came over and scolded you. I've never seen anything like this @ the Bowery and I don't know if it's just for that night or if this is the way it is now. I didn't want to get yelled at until Living Things went on. Then I wasn't sure if I should fight it if they spoke to me or figure it's not worth it. I planned on lying and saying I was with a publication, but which one? That's it; I'm bootlegging my ass a photo pass. Meanwhile the Giraffes have been at it for a while, swiggin whiskey and playing hard rock/metal. Their guitar player jumps offstage and stands in front of me, but since I'm the only schmo in a sweater/thermals I move aside lest the photogs document this. So a girl comes forward and gyrates behind him, then wraps her arms around him. And he falls down on top of her. After the set, he says, "Did I fall on top of my mom?"
I should've known what I was in for by the Living Things' website. It uses pop-ups that I can never close. This pisses me off. I should've known what I was in for if the band is hyped by Spin magazine. Best punk band? Now, I know that "punk" encompasses a broad range of musical expression, from pop-y to straight-up to sludgy hardcore. It does not refer to a boring, glammy rock band. Or Spin's pets. Maybe they're better in a small club and not on a high stage like at The Bowery Ballroom. Maybe they're more confrontational or aggressive that way. The venue plays a huge part of the live band experience, I know. But still. I don't care how political your lyrics or what they're about, but Living Things are not punk. Duh. They're not even aggressive. I had to wonder if they were living. I mean, I don't know what the buzz is about them--and I don't mean that I don't understand it--I mean I seriously don't know it. I don't read Spin or Rollingstone or have MTV or Fuse, so alls I know is that conduits of music information speak of them often. Is it their lyrics that's got tongues a-waggin'? Their politics? Is it their incessant partying/boozing/drugging? Wrecking hotel rooms and women across America? So I had to find out. Someone fired one up as soon as the band got onstage so I figured I was safe as far as photography was concerned since I figured the bouncers had bigger problems on their hands than whether or not the flash photographer had a pass. The band was dressed in black, of course. Lead singer Lillian Berlin was in turquoise pants and matching vest with no shirt. He kinda reminded me of David Johansen a little but not by much, especially after he took his vest off. The band name was projected on a movie screen behind them, as if we forgot/couldn't read the drum kit. But the bass player had a nice Star of David tattooed on his bicep--forarm, whatever, the guy didn't have any muscles--so that was cool, even though he had a hipster hairdo. Watching them, I thought: Well, I never saw The Strokes at their peak-to-steady climb but now I have. Seriously. Lillian held his arms up, in rockstar/Jesus mode a few times and jumped into the audience to sing, but big deal. I've seen that before. 7 songs. 8, if you count the one that was crossed off.
As if the Diamond Nights feature in the Deli wasn't a dead giveaway about these guys, the lead singer's white moccasin/loafers were. Shortly after they start, 2 blondes come out of nowhere and charge up front like they own the place--or the band--oblivious to the fact that people have been there all night. They looked like the types that work in PR/event planning. One had an orange tan and straw hair. Her pant legs were tucked into calf-high brown boots and she shimmied around as though the music called for such moves. The other managed to dress somewhat better, except for the huge-bead necklace circa this past summer and the Coach purse that kept hitting me. I was like, Would you put that thing on the floor already? Believe me, nobody'd want it. She apologized for hitting me but only once, explaining that it's her friend's brother in the band. You'd think the band would tell these idiots to get lost because they want people to think they're cool. Or maybe hanging around with those nitwits is charity and we're supposed to find the band even cooler because they hang out with the terminally lame. I mean, nobody would think the band cool because of their music. There's a reason I keep seeing Satanicide even though I know all of their jokes by heart. They're good. They're alive. These guys couldn't find their way back home from a Greek diner.
So the moral of the story, kids, is that if someone tells you that a band is best one you've never heard and that person isn't me, don't listen. "Lillian Berlin is Johnny Rotten with politics."--VV. Uh, wouldn't Johnny Rotten with politics be Joe Strummer? "This is political rock that can hold its own against the PlayStation in the battle for teen attention spans."--Blender. Y'know, that's not exactly saying much since anything's better than a PlayStation. "It's been a long, long time since rock music felt even remotely dangerous....."--Interview. Huh? I figured they were saving rock the same way The Strokes did and the same way The Hives saved punk. Maybe the album is good and the band's just been on a long tour/drunk/stoned. Maybe they were being ironic/sarcastic and I didn't get it. But Living Things are from St. Louis. As in Missouri. Isn't that the Show-Me State? So show me that they're dangerous. I cheated on House for this? I wish I could rant and rail about how I should demand my money back, but I did this to myself. I'm so embarrassed. I give the night a 6 or 7 (dollars, out of the $13 cover) for Stylofone.
posted by heather @ 10:58 PM
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