The Fine Print
I found this verrrry interesting and deserving of its own post because it's quite involved. You'll see what I mean in a bit......
On my way out of Ace Of Clubs I got a better look at the poster for the show. It depicts George Burns not as God but as the devil. He's standing in hell, under the date in flaming graphics and under that, it says, In The Highly Coveted 7PM Slot (Now, I appreciate sarcasm as much as the next person but do you think maybe that "highly coveted 7PM slot" has anything to do with the fact that you suck?)
Anyhoo, Mr. Satan is holding an unfurled document. The fine print, under CMJ Contract, says:
This contract hereby states that CMJ didn't bother to listen to your demo, completely rejected you from their festival, kept 100% of the mandatory entrance fee, but will still let you in if you have a hook-up. Oh, yeah. Also, CMJ requires that you hand over all the money that your band takes in at the door of the venue in which you never chose to play. Furthermore, don't try to use you're "free badge" at any area venues as most clubs will tell you that they've reached capacity for CMJ badges. Best of luck at your showcase, where you can rub shoulders with actual "industry" people.
Signed, in a dripping-blood font, by The Rizzaks.
Hmmm. Again, this "being rejected from the festival" thing? Perhaps it has something to do with your suckiness and the fact that you're trying to cover for it with your shtick? Furthermore, I could point out that you used the wrong version of your on your poster and how embarrassing to be so busy laughing at your own cleverness that you let that fly, but I know. You're from Rizzakistan so I'll go easy on you for that.
Maybe thesmokinggun has a copy of the real CMJ contract, but you mean to tell me that CMJ is nothing but a brand-name M.E.A.N.Y.fest? CMJ takes the money a band makes at the door? Even if yout buy an advanced ticket at Other Music? Well, I guess they need some way to cover all the subway maps with the CMJ logos and DKNY lanyards. I wonder what would happen if you put your CMJ badges on another neck cord. And what "industry people"? I never see industry people, only kids from college radio stations. And the bass player from Say Hi To Your Mom. He was at the Tralala show and asked me if I was a writer. I told him I try to be as my brain screamed, Yes! He introduced himself and I was tempted to say, "Say Hi To Your Mom," but I didn't because he probably gets that a lot. And kicks himself for being in a band with that name.
Now. If the fine print is true--I'm assuming it's based in truth--I look forward to the anti-CMJ festival next year. No DKNY neck cords needed, no "free badges" for clubs that have a quota for how many badges they let in (That one I knew about. You think you're buying a golden ticket to a musical shmorgasboard but on the marathon site they don't tell you that each club has a limit on CMJ badges and you may be SOL, just the price of registration.) Showcases of note will be the Freddy's Backroom showcase, starring the bands that call Freddy's their home, Rocky Sullivan's Irish Rock Showcase, starring Seanchai and the Unity Squad and the United 32s and others. Xris could put on a show in Tompkins Square. That leaves one day. Hmmm. Eh, maybe I'll get some sleep that night. Gotta save my energy. And money. And film.
On my way out of Ace Of Clubs I got a better look at the poster for the show. It depicts George Burns not as God but as the devil. He's standing in hell, under the date in flaming graphics and under that, it says, In The Highly Coveted 7PM Slot (Now, I appreciate sarcasm as much as the next person but do you think maybe that "highly coveted 7PM slot" has anything to do with the fact that you suck?)
Anyhoo, Mr. Satan is holding an unfurled document. The fine print, under CMJ Contract, says:
This contract hereby states that CMJ didn't bother to listen to your demo, completely rejected you from their festival, kept 100% of the mandatory entrance fee, but will still let you in if you have a hook-up. Oh, yeah. Also, CMJ requires that you hand over all the money that your band takes in at the door of the venue in which you never chose to play. Furthermore, don't try to use you're "free badge" at any area venues as most clubs will tell you that they've reached capacity for CMJ badges. Best of luck at your showcase, where you can rub shoulders with actual "industry" people.
Signed, in a dripping-blood font, by The Rizzaks.
Hmmm. Again, this "being rejected from the festival" thing? Perhaps it has something to do with your suckiness and the fact that you're trying to cover for it with your shtick? Furthermore, I could point out that you used the wrong version of your on your poster and how embarrassing to be so busy laughing at your own cleverness that you let that fly, but I know. You're from Rizzakistan so I'll go easy on you for that.
Maybe thesmokinggun has a copy of the real CMJ contract, but you mean to tell me that CMJ is nothing but a brand-name M.E.A.N.Y.fest? CMJ takes the money a band makes at the door? Even if yout buy an advanced ticket at Other Music? Well, I guess they need some way to cover all the subway maps with the CMJ logos and DKNY lanyards. I wonder what would happen if you put your CMJ badges on another neck cord. And what "industry people"? I never see industry people, only kids from college radio stations. And the bass player from Say Hi To Your Mom. He was at the Tralala show and asked me if I was a writer. I told him I try to be as my brain screamed, Yes! He introduced himself and I was tempted to say, "Say Hi To Your Mom," but I didn't because he probably gets that a lot. And kicks himself for being in a band with that name.
Now. If the fine print is true--I'm assuming it's based in truth--I look forward to the anti-CMJ festival next year. No DKNY neck cords needed, no "free badges" for clubs that have a quota for how many badges they let in (That one I knew about. You think you're buying a golden ticket to a musical shmorgasboard but on the marathon site they don't tell you that each club has a limit on CMJ badges and you may be SOL, just the price of registration.) Showcases of note will be the Freddy's Backroom showcase, starring the bands that call Freddy's their home, Rocky Sullivan's Irish Rock Showcase, starring Seanchai and the Unity Squad and the United 32s and others. Xris could put on a show in Tompkins Square. That leaves one day. Hmmm. Eh, maybe I'll get some sleep that night. Gotta save my energy. And money. And film.
posted by heather @ 9:25 PM
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