Admitting It Is The 1st Step

Hi, my name is Heather and I have a problem.

The Price Of Admission, 2005

1. Wreckless Eric/Bonfire Madigan//Tap Bar//$8
2. The Assault/Madison/Northern State//Rothko//$13
3. Fabulous Entourage//Arlene’s//$7
4. Riverboat Gamblers/Hot Water Music/Flogging Molly//Spirit Center//$33.50
5. God Is My Co-Pilot/King Missile//Knit//$10
6. Dirty Mary/Old Money/Satanicide/Upper Crust//N6//$13
7. Battery/Color Guard/Twats//Siberia//$5
8. Group Sounds/Louis XIV/Hot Hot Heat//Bowery Ballroom//$15
9. Ambulence, Ltd./VHS or Beta//Bowery Ballroom//$14
10. Spunk Lads/Pussycat Lounge//$5
11. Joe Hurley’s 6th Annual All-Star Irish Rock Revue//Knit//$20
12. World War IX/Battletorn/Guns.Fire.Mayhem//ABC No Rio//$6
13. Agents Of Karma (Jay Kavanaugh’s band)//$7
14. Babyshakes/Trakes/Cobra Verde/Undertones//Southpaw//$19.08
15. Icepick/H2O/Dropkick Murphys//Irving//$22.50
16. Xtatika/Metermaids//Sin-e//$8
17. RSO/Unloveables/Bullets And Octane/Queers//Pratt Student Union//$5
18. Loser’s Lounge Tribute To Queen//Bowery Ballroom//$17
19. Gaijin A-Go-go/Les Sans Culottes//Piano’s//$8
20. Thieves/Some Action/Peelander-Z/Electric Eel Shock//Merc//$8
21. The Walkup/Bon Savants/Go Station//Don Hill’s//$5
22. Joe Hurley and the Gents//Joe’s Pub//$18.03
23. NYC Smoke/Burning Brides/New York Dolls//Irving//$35
24. Deck Of Jack/Gym Glass Heroes/Northern State//Knitting Factory//$10
25. Patina/Robert Skoro/Go Betweens//Southpaw//$19.08
26. Phenomenauts/Epoxies/Aquabats//BB Kings//$14
27. Contramano/Rasputina//Southpaw//$19.08
28. Poparoxi/Pretty Flowers/Hoy//Rare/$5
29. WLWL/Folk Fiction/She Wolves//Lit//$5
30. Anabolics/Secret Cervix/Priscillas/Scream & Scream Again/Quarerslot//Trash//$8
31. Tiger! Tiger!/Priscillas/High School Sweethearts/Ribeye Bros.// Woggles//Maxwells//$8
32. Stephen Kellogg/Dan Bern//Maxwells//$18
33. The Ratchets/The Saints//Maxwell’s//$13
34. Captured! By Robots//Tribeca//$10
35. S.M.U.T./Lady Unluck/Trashlight Vision/Sex Slaves/Test Specimen//Continental/$10
36. Seanchai/.Rocky’s//$5
37. Boyjazz/Heroin Shieks//Pianos//$12.50
38. NYCity Sin IV//Main Space & Tap Bar//$5
39. BOS/Spunks/Dirty Pillows/Guns On Hi St./Sex Slaves/Cheetah Chrome/Cont’l//$10
40. A Thousand Vendettas/Dove//Rothko//$10
41. J-Live/Masauko/Digable Planets//Irving//$27.50
42. Slaughterhouse Four/Steinways/Dirtbike Annie/Spazzys//Desmond’s//$7
43. The Straphangers/Eyes Of Hate/Common Enemy/The Truents//ABC No Rio//$6
44. Superspecs/No Name Charlies/DGW/Whole Wheat Bread/Big D & The Kids Table Continental//$10
45. Cut The Wires/Group Sounds/The Octagon//Sin-e//$13
46. DC Snipers/Human Eye/Gizmos/Los Reactors//Southpaw//$21.43
47. Seanchai//Rocky’s//$5
48. Leslie & the Lys/Rene Risque/Satanicide/Upper Crust/Bowery Ballroom//$15
49. Andrew Goodsight’s Musichead//Ace Of Clubs//$5
50. Mary Prankster//CB313//$8
51. Blackout Shoppers/Shaveks//Adicts//Continental//$19.06
52. Domestics/Vitamen/Marianne Pillsburys/Johnny 5//Sin-e//$8
53. Superfortress/Mixel Pixel/PSK/Freezepop//Rare//$9.50
54. Teedo/Mount Misery//Delancey//$7
55. French Doors/Dark Holler/BreakerBreaker/Direct From Hollywood Cemetary/Measels Mumps Rubella//$10//Rare
56. Kevin Blechdom/Chicks On Speed//Knitting Factory//$20
57. Mistakes/Cologne/33Hz/Trick and the Heartstrings//Pianos//$10
58. Les Prostiputes/The Fux/ICU//Trash//$8
59. O’Haste Annihilation/Intro5pect/The Profits/Citizen Fish//ABC No Rio//$6
60. Q and not U//Knit//$12
61. Gene Dreamy, Gary Sincere, & the Pets/Notekillers/Enon//Merc//$10
62. Happy Ending/Color Guard//CakeShop//$5
63. Dougie Needles/Guns On High St./Alphabet City//Arlene’s//$7
64. The Dents/F-Units/Hello Nurse/Hoy//Sin-e//$10
65. Andy D/Black Peter/Witnesses/Pumpsta/Phiilliip/Mr. Move/Avenue D//Club Exit//$5
66. Threads/Pank Shovel/Diamonds Under Fire//Sin-e//$8
67. Firebird Band/Rasputina//Maxwell’s//$13
68. Trakes/Prozacs/Unloveables/41 Gorgeous Blocks/Darlington/Johnie 3/Dead City Rejects//Continental//$5
69. Faun Fables/Devotchka/Dresden Dolls//Webster Hall//$20
70. Rockin’ 69s/Pitchfork Militia/Jesse Jaymz/World Famous Crawlspace Bros/BOS// Trash//$5
71. Malkovich/Demander/Shellshag//Lit//$7
72. Brain Failure/River City Rebels/Street Dogs//Continental//$16.25
73. Clit 45/Briefs//Continental//$16.20
74. Face Tomorrow/Blow Up Hollywood/Looker/Tralala/The Teeth//Ace Of Clubs//$10
75. La Laque/Dansettes/Les Sans Culottes//Knit//$8
76. Liza & Wonderwheels/Somos Demonios//Underscore//$5
77. Seanchai//Rocky’s//$5
78. Modrocket//Arlene’s//$7
79. Unloveables/Dollyrots/Helper Monkeys/Groovie Ghoulies//Tap Bar//$8
80. Violent Affair/Prince Hal Show/Test Specimen/Sex Slaves/Infidels//Cont'l//$10
81. The Pill/WWIX//Trash Bar//$8
82. The Emeralds/Portugal Japan/Phenomenauts/Peelander-Z//Knit//$10
83. Charms//Tap Bar//$8
84. Somos Demonios//Pussycat Lounge//$8
85. Leslie & The Lys/Peelander-Z/Satanicide//Merc//$12
86. Seanchai//Rocky’s//$5
87. Death Mold//Sin-e//$8
88. Peter & the Pansexuals/Dougie Needles//Trash//$5
89. LeeVees//Bowery Ballroom//$15
90. Mary Prankster//Old Office//$8
91. Tangiers/Doubles/Pretty Girls Make Graves//Knit//$12
92. The Negatones//Sin-e//$10
93. Lady Unluck/Dougie Needles//Continental//$7
94. Schaffer The Darklord/Captured! By Robots//Tribeca//$12
95. Al Of Hate Tribute//Niki & Sam’s//$10
96. Joe Hurley//Cutting Room//$10
97. Due Tomorrow/Bottlerocket/Delegates/The Killtakers//ABC No Rio//$6
98. Stylofone/Giraffes/Living Things/Diamond Nights/Bowery Ballroom//$13
99. Han Shot First/More/Valeze/ism/Quarterslot//The Delancey//$4
100. Indie Music Video Fest + Theo & the Skyscrapers//Pianos//$10
101. Bedsit Poets//Merc//$8
102. Hard-Fi//Bowery Ballroom//$13
103. Loafass/Tuff Jeff Salen Band/Threads/Waldos//Continental//$5
104. Joey Ramone’s Xmas Show//Continental//$2
105. Bona Roba/Treasures of the Sea/Mooney Suzuki//Sin-e//$13
106. The Genders/The Choke/The Everyothers/The Sex Slaves//Trash//$8

I don't want to tell you what the mere thought of totalling this did to my stomach. But I did. Yes, this is over $1000 (and the higher it climbed, I did feel some pride) providing that I didn't miss anything. And not counting benefit shows, donations, CDs, pins, and stickers. Obviously, I wasn't expecting the $100 rent increase. So I spent more than a month's rent on shows. More than a month's rent in 06 in shows. I could've paid bills. Given some to charity. Taken Oreo to the vet. If I calculated it right, bought 14 unlimited Metrocards. Developed film, instead of buying it. Cleaned my apartment, if I were home. Cleaned my apartment if I weren't writing about shows. Exercised. Slept.

Mantras for the new year:
I am not in a band.
I am not a writer.
I am not a reporter.
I am not a photographer.
I am not a part of any music scene.
I am not the next Tricia Romano.
I do not have a job in music.
Seeing a band repeatedly doesn't mean I'm friends with anyone in the band, so I am not letting the band down by not going to the show.

I mean, I know all that. Or I should. It's just that sometimes I tend to get a bit carried away and self-absorbed. Hey, I'm only human. And a Leo at that. After all, at a couple of times I have, in the past, pretty much convinced myself of the opposite of the above. There are other things I'm knowledgeable of besides music. It's just that I don't know what those things are yet.